Tuesday, April 01, 2014

Art, Attitude, and Adjustments - April #atozchallenge

I complained today, again, to my husband.

"It's not that I'm not happy with you and the kids, or even our life," I said to him just before dinner, "it's just that I feel so dissatisfied.  I'm not doing what I want to do.  I want to write.  And I'm not."

We've had similar conversations over the last couple of months, ever since I took on a new volunteer role as president for a local arts council.

Part of me loves this new "job," but so far the time commitment has been tremendous.  I hope it will become more manageable as I learn the ropes -- and I think that maybe it just might be starting to get better already, but the problem is that  I had plans for this year.  The plan was to really -- and I mean really -- focus on writing.  I even toyed with the idea of going to university for a degree in creative writing.

Later this evening, I came across an old email I had printed off and tucked away from when I was teaching at court reporting school a few years back, and it was from a student to another instructor, who had passed it on to me.  To summarize, I happened to say something to this struggling student, some flash of insight I had in conversation with her, and it made her realize she needed an attitude adjustment (her words).  After this epiphany she had, she quickly reached her goal.

As I read this email from six years ago, it dawned on me that I needed an attitude adjustment myself.

Fact is, life throws curve balls, closes doors, open windows.  I've always said, When opportunity knocks, answer the door.  Opportunity knocked, and I opened the door.  I accepted the challenge, but I am a little bitter about it, because it's not the challenge I wanted.

There are many positives so far with this new position, and I am enjoying the work; it gets me out of my dungeon of a basement to meet new and interesting people, and I can see it might be something I'm good at (at least I hope I will be good at it).  Maybe I am doing exactly what I am supposed to be doing.

There is a sticky note on my fridge.  It says:  "Work Hard. Don't Give Up. Be Prepared to Sacrifice."

I'm going to leave this bitterness under the welcome mat, because frankly, it's irritating.  I will just have to make time to write in the little spaces when I steal time for myself. Just keep swimming, as Dory said.

Hence this challenge...http://www.a-to-zchallenge.com/.  It will keep me swimming, get me back in the habit of writing that I had so tenuously developed over the last year.

So, hey, I guess I will see you at the "Z" (or as we say up here in Canada, "Zed.)

8 comments:

  1. I have seen women coming long ways via blogging. Hope you find yours too.

    Neelam at http://mechameli.blogspot.in/2014/04/a-list-of-summer-indian-spices.html

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, Neelam :) The best things are never easy, I guess.

      Delete
  2. There's always an adjustment period when you take on something new. I hope you're able to squeeze in writing again, like you're longing to do. There's a great book I'd recommend to encourage you called Pen on Fire: A Busy Woman's Guide to Igniting the Writer Within. She says 15 minutes a day can keep you feeling "on track"

    Cheers, Laurel
    Laurel's Leaves

    ReplyDelete
  3. Thank you, Laurel...I love writing books, so I will check it out. They can be a bit of trap, though, can't they :) All comes down to applying what you've learned.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I hope you find that silver lining. Finding time to write is so tough when life surrounds you and needs you. But only you can write your book.

    ReplyDelete
  5. So true, Stephsco :) That's a great way to put it...life needs you. I like that.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Put a notebook and pen in every room to collect your thoughts and write daily for 15 minutes, even if you have to hide in the closet or the bathroom or the car or the garage. There's plenty of places to hide somewhere. Keep writing and don't give up the dream. If you need help with setting goals, email me.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Rebecca, that is also a good suggestion...go hide and write lol Thank you :)

    ReplyDelete