I am a perfectionist. When I first started painting, however, I had no expectation of my ability. Now, I have huge expectations, and when a painting doesn't turn out the way I intended, it is extremely frustrating. I want to be better. I need to paint bigger. I must develop more depth, better colour, more contrast...find a new perspective. It gets a little overwhelming.
Granted, I am the only one putting these expectations on myself. One of my artist friends pointed out that it is human nature to want to better ourselves. True. And would I take as much enjoyment from painting if I painted the exact same type of things for the rest of my life? I dunno. Maybe I would.
I suppose I am just impatient, and I should enjoy the journey a little more. I will get there. Or will I? I mean, how can you ever really be satisfied? And where is "there"?
As my mom says, Not every painting turns out. Besides, for every failure there is something to be gained, if only experience or knowledge.
No wonder artists are portrayed as tortured souls! It seems an impossible task to really get it all out the way you want it to. And everywhere I look, there is something I want to render through art.
My advice to myself...chill out and paint. And here are a couple of "fails" from my portfolio. Actually, they were not so much fails as unfinished. There was something about each of them I liked. Only the top one was saved and turned into a painting I quite liked. Another piece of advice to myself...keep going and don't give up on a piece too soon.
Fortunately, it is easy to reheat the wax and repaint!